How to tell if a guy is single

Here's a sure-fire way to tell if a guy doesn't have a girlfreind, isn't gay, and doesn't live with his mother (if you're looking ^_^).

If the strings holding the flaps closed at the bottom of his suit jacket haven't been removed you can be pretty sure he

• doesn't have a girlfriend (who would mock him),
• isn't gay (and would know better),
• and doesn't live with his mother (who would never let him go out of the house looking like that).

See what I mean?  Sure-fire method.  You can thank me later.