I was feeling a little run down, so I decided to treat myself to something special, a facial and a massage. Now, I’d like to say up front I have never had a facial before, nope never; not even before my wedding (I just never got around to ii). So, I’m always up for trying something new, so I booked myself into an Ella Bache in one of my local shopping centres.
They were on time, which is always a plus, and a nice young girl (she was young, she talked about homework and I don’t think she meant TAFE or Uni) showed me into a darkened room. She gave me precise instructions about what to take off and what to leave on (always appreciated in a new situation) and left me to relax face down for five minutes.
So I lay face down for five minutes, listening to dolphins frolic in the waves, and I wondered when she was coming back. If only she’d played me some U2 I would have been supremely comfortable. As it was, I kept thinking to myself “let’s get on with this, I’ve got things to do”.
I’m sure she’d been taught to say that, and I doubt she knew any better, but that is BULLSH*T (excuse my capitals).
The young girl came back in and started with the massage. It was nice, but for me she simply didn’t have strong enough hands. I’d had a massage before (once) and left feeling pleasantly wobbly. This time I felt ... unsatisfied.
I turned over for the facial part. We had a small consultation about my skin type and I explained how I still get a bit of acne as well as blackheads (even though I’m 33). She pulled out a black light and used it to look at my skin, explaining how it “looked under the top layer of skin”. I’m sure she’d been taught to say that, and I doubt she knew any better, but that is BULLSH*T (excuse my capitals).
I looked rather funky under the black light though. All of my freckles stood out wonderfully, even the ones that are too pale to notice. My lips went really dark and the rest of my skin went really white. (Great idea for any photographers out there.) Anyway, she told me that because my skin was showing up really white, it meant that my skin was really dry. I was thinking to myself “nooo, my skin looks really white because it’s really white”.
After I was thoroughly sick of dolphins...she asked me how I felt, and I said good. I lied.
Anyway, she gave my face a good scrubbing, twice, and then applied a moisturising mask to my face and a cleansing one to my chest and left me to contemplate the dolphins for 15 minutes or so.
After I was thoroughly sick of dolphins, she came back and removed the masks. She asked me how I felt, and I said good. I lied. I felt about how I felt when I went in.
I dressed and endured the sales routine (which was pleasantly not pushy). I paid and left. That night, I developed a large and unattractive pimple on my chin, probably in reaction to the moisturising mask. I don’t think I’ll be going back. For the cost of a facial and massage (AU$150), I could have had a new pair of shoes. I know what I’ll be choosing next time.
So, you tell me. Is this what a facial is all about. Should it have been better? Did I get ripped off?Image care of the Ella Bache website.
Make me up