Myer and David Jones are pretty much the one-stop-shops for swimmers here in Sydney, so I rocked up there one day after work. After trying on 14 pairs of swimmers (2 x 7, see what I did there) I’ve realised a number of rules.
- Most size AU16 swimmers don’t have big enough cups. Listen, swimwear makers, if a lady is wearing size AU16, it’s more than likely she’ll have the boobs to go with it. I don’t mind cleavage, but I really don’t want to spill out the sides.
- Powermesh* is a wonderful thing. All swimmers should have powermesh in them. Why would swimwear makers make swimmers without it? Oh, and a little power mesh around the bum wouldn’t go astray either.
- One piece swimmers are only good if you have just the right body length. If you’re like me and have a long body (extra length between the boobs and the bum) standard swimmers just don’t work. From the side your boobs are squashed flat (rather than uplifted) because the cups sit too low. If you’re short waisted, there is too much material around the stomach and you lose the effect of the powermesh. Out of the 9 standard suits I tried on, only one was long enough for my body. If you have a short or long body, go for a tankini instead.
- Boy-legged bottoms don’t suit big girls. You may think you’d like a little extra coverage over what you think is an unfortunately big bum (I think your bum looks beautiful), but you’re kidding yourself. That contrasting line across the widest part of your hips isn’t doing you any favours. Go for a standard leg, not cut too high, but not too low either. If you’re worried about your but, get a great wrap or other cover-up to wear poolside.
- Don’t buy your swimmers too loose. You may feel self conscious about your body, but a saggy baggy suit won’t help any body issues you may have. Make sure your suit has powermesh and sucks you in at all the right places. The right suit should make you look skinnier in it than out.
- Underwire cups for big boobs are essential. You want to look your best in your swimmers don’t you? You can only do this if your boobs are lifted and supported and in their proper place. In the same way a great bra is the foundation of a great outfit, a great underwire is the foundation of a great swimsuit.
- A tankini should cover all the way down and all the way up. If you’ve got the body for it, it won’t matter if your tankini top rides up, or if you’re showing a sexy bit of hip. If you don’t have the body for it (like me) you want a pair of briefs that have a roll top (with powermesh) that you can roll up, and a top that you can pull down well over your belly. Lift your arms up, can you see a band of skin? If so, try a different style.
Trying on all those pairs of swimmers wasn’t wasted. I managed to work out 7 fashion rules that will stand me in good stead for future years, and after all that, I did manage to find a good pair of swimmers. I bought the Seafolly Luau DD/E Wrap Front Singlet and the Seafolly Matt Separates 2009 Roll Top Pant (in black of course). You’ll excuse me if I don’t model these for you personally.
* Powermesh should be said in your head in your best 1950s announcer voice “Saving women everywhere, da da daaa, Powermesh!”